How Do I Find My Wedding Vision?
The Illusion of Choice & Importance of Vision
Wow! You’re getting married! I’m sure that the decision to say yes was an easy one! Quite possibly the easiest decision that you will make during your wedding planning process! How Do I Find My Wedding Vision? Then the choices start to come in fast and furious! What season? What date? What time? Where to have the ceremony? Where to have the reception? Who to invite? What vendors do you need? I have heard over and over again how overwhelming it can be to plan a wedding. From young brides to their mothers, the pressure to decide can create a burden so heavy that it threatens their relationships with one another, with friends, and family and even the betrothed! And, let’s face it, like most things, the decisions that you will face can be as simple or as complicated as you want them to be! You can get caught up in the flood of hysteria over the illusion of choices that you have, or you can let these choices be made by the vision that is in your mind’s eye.
In working with hundreds of couples, mothers and fathers of the same, I have come to realize that absolutely everyone has an idea of what the wedding should look like, feel like, sound like and even taste like. If you and yours can identify what is important to you, then many decisions will be made organically, based on that vision! So I would propose that after you say yes, this be your first step; determine your vision! Then I would propose that you sit down with the people that you will be working with on this very special event and discuss your vision and listen to their ideas. To give them voice does not mean that you have to compromise your vision, but it does make them part of the process, and may well strengthen your vision!
Techniques To Find My Wedding Vision
This vision technique is similar to a road trip. You know that you want to go to a specific location (let’s call that your vision), and you know that in order to get there, you need to drive a series of roads. Which roads you take are chosen by what you may want to see on your way, or how fast you need to get to there, but I’m pretty sure that you will not drive north to go south, or east to go west. Coming up with your vision, be it for an event, or a road trip can be used to determine pretty much any decisions that you have coming your way!
Let me give you an example. You close your eyes and imagine your wedding dress. It is made of white dupioni silk, the skirt is full and floor length, with Dolman sleeves, a sweetheart neckline and a back that laces up. By identifying this vision, you can walk into any bridal shop and eliminate the majority of the dresses that the shop has to offer! This vision will help you, your sales person or dress designer come up with exactly what is in your mind’s eye! By not going into this shop with a vision, you will get yanked in a million directions, drawn to that shorter hemline, or that sparkly veil!
Let’s use another example: When you close your eyes and imagine your wedding reception, do you see a ballroom full of beautifully laid tables, or do you see a rustic barn dripping with fabric and wild flowers? This vision tells me that you either want something very formal, or something less formal. If you were to tell me that you see the ballroom full of beautifully laid tables, you have just made a very important decision, a vision to leap towards, away from other choices that are against that vision. Now, instead of having no idea as to where to have your event, you have just narrowed down the options to properties in your chosen area that have a ballroom, be it a resort, a hotel, or a refurbished mansion! Whereas if you see the barn, your choices are narrowed down to finding a wedding venue that has a barn that can be decked out to meet your vision!
How Do I Find My Wedding Vision?
Gather Images Of Weddings That You Are Drawn To.
Once you’ve narrowed this down, you will find that each venue will come with their own recommendations as far as food, bar, service and floral design. Here you will be faced with whom to hire and why? Once again, we ask you to articulate your vision to the vendors that you are interviewing and watch closely to see if the vendors are hearing what is important to you and are making suggestions that are in keeping with and perhaps even expanding your vision. I do not use the word interviewing lightly in this statement, because ultimately, you will need to hire the people or organizations that you feel can and will produce your vision and exceed your expectations and they can only do that if you can provide the vision, and they can provide the passion and their ability to produce your vision! If you find yourself working with anyone who does not seem to be listening to you, or is difficult to reach, you would be wise to find another who you feel you can partner with in the production of your day.
Certainly, there will be times when you may be tempted to get turned around by something that is not in keeping with your vision which can easily overwhelm and confuse you! At that time, you will simply need to decide if that something is nice enough to modify your vision, or can you expand your vision to include it?
One of the things that I always try to remind my stressed clients is that the decision to marry is the big decision, all other decisions are about sharing this day with the people that you love, and want near you. So it really comes down to throwing a party that reflects your personal sense of style and hospitality! Gone are the days of Emily Post dictating what is “done” and “proper”. If you find yourself melting down over a decision, try hard to remember that very few people will know of the choices that you have made and none will question those choices! All will be thrilled that you want them with you on your special day, so try to relax into the process, and click through the choices calmly, with your vision acting as your guide!
Photo Credits: Dear Edith And Lily
Here are some images from Allison and Nick’s wedding at Stonover Farm in Lenox MA Venue: Stonover FarmPhotographer: Elaina Mortali PhotographyEvent Lighting: Rob Alberti EventsFlorist: Carolyn Valenti
Bloom Meadows – 2422 Hancock Road – Williamstown, MA 01267 Here are some images from Chara and Jillian’s June wedding at Bloom Meadows. Venue: Bloom MeadowsPhotographer: Dear Edith & LilyDJ & Lighting: Rob Alberti Events
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